“Omg, are you okay?!?!” Update from Alabama

I get it — people are concerned. They’re so concerned they can’t bring themselves to read the blog and watch the videos, let alone give them time to sink in. And what good is art that unfolds if you don’t understand everything right off the bat, right?

But may I suggest you stop calling my friends — when did the reclusive Dario Robleto, who’s as out of the loop on most of this as you are, become my press agent? — and me to ask what’s going on, and stop sending private messages of concern and start posting them publicly? Remember, one of the main points of all this is to start public conversations where they’ve been sorely lacking.

Here’s a look back at the early Devon days compared with the current Devon Britt-Darby days. Watch all 5 minutes 17 seconds of it — ooo, scary! too long for my attention span! — and vote in the poll below.

Compare the New Orleans stop on Devon’s 2004 road trip with the one on the 2011 road trip. Which was the better version?
(polls)

Houston Chronicle releases me for reasons unrelated to my colorful past

… but possibly related to my colorful present.

Reliable Narratives, Advertising photo for Devon Britt-Darby, 2011. Digital image

“In light of the current environment in which the newspaper finds itself, we are unable to approve an extended, open-ended leave of absence,” an editor said in an email.

However, the paper agreed to my request to pay me the balance of my vacation time — 11 days — and declined to accept two $100 checks I had left at my desk along with my remote login-access key, my keys to the office and my corporate American Express Card.

(The checks were for whomever had to clean out my notoriously messy desk upon my termination and for whomever had to go through the hassle of filing and posting a few of my society stories that we had scheduled and assigned photographers to shoot and that I hadn’t gotten around to filing. I feel a bit guilty that the checks are being returned; however, I’m pleased to have one less client I have to worry about getting to hire me. I charged $200 for one-hour appointments during my previous round as an escort.)

I am also “welcome to apply for any open position” when I return to Houston, the editor wrote.

When I got the email Monday evening, I was very touched by this outcome, the best I could realistically hope for. But on further reflection, I’m more inclined to assume the paper was doing what it believed it was legally required — or at least legally prudent — to do.

In this light, I feel obliged to notify the paper that I paid my last American Express bill — about $239 of standard parking/mileage expenses for recent Houston art and society coverage and my most recent trip to Dallas, which resulted in this story, which ran on the cover of the Chronicle’s Star section on Nov. 18, my wedding date.

This raises the question:

Should the Chronicle also reimburse me for those corporate Amex charges, or accept my offer to foot the bill?
(polls)

If you think my opinions as an art critic are still valid

… now that you know I’m an escort, please add me, Devon Britt-Darby, as a friend on Facebook (if we’re not friends already) and send me permission to tag you in this picture.

Dodo dada hoho haha gogo gaga nono yaya

Former (?) Houston Chronicle art critic and society writer Devon Britt-Darby presents a quick and dirty dodo dada training session for Devonistas.

Practical considerations – cowboy hat or no cowboy hat?

Vote early and often. You’re helping shape this piece, including its fashion sense. We are making art.

Road trip – Introduction

This one was tough to make.

I botched my wife’s line at 07:21. She said if I do crystal meth on this trip she won’t divorce me — the much bigger threat to the sanctity of our marriage.

Graffiti bombing, then shopping, at Art Palace

An a-ha moment

Tree dedication (Devonista remix)

If it takes a whore to call the Menil out …